I am an Army wife, I am an Army reserve wife that is. Actually I’m not even a wife yet. Me and Jake have been together for 5 years and have lived together for 3. We had planned to get married 11*11*11. It may be sooner. We’re not sure yet. But hubs has made a big choice. I big choice that is gonna take a lot of getting use to, a lot of changes will he made, and a lot of time together lost.

Yesterday he decided that he was going to go back active duty. 3 of the other soldiers at his unit put in to go active in December and were shipped out before Christmas. He is going today to do the paperwork so he will more than likely be shipped out by the end of next month. It could possibly be this month. I would rather it be next month though. We’re not married so Mali and I will not be going with him. Even if we were married Mali and I still wouldn’t be able to go right away. Anyone who knows someone in the army or have served themselves knows how slow they process paperwork on things like that. The only time they hurry is when it benefits them in some way.

I am very supportive of his decision. I just wish I had a little more time to prepare myself. The idea came up yesterday and he said he was doing it today. He has already talked to the commander and he will be talking to him again today. I am not prepared in no way for this. I am in a bind and I am not going to let this stop hubs from doing what he wants. I am just worried for mine and Mali’s sake. I just recently lost my job and no one is hiring. I am afraid I may have to move back in with my parents. I love them but I enjoy having my own space. I don’t like living with them. I am taking things one day at a time now and just hoping for something to come along before he leave us. I am now going to have to be the one providing by myself and I’m not sure where to start. I know getting a job is a start but I live in a small town where jobs are few and far in between unless you drive an hour or more to work. I can’t drive an hour or more, I don’t even drive. I have got so much to do this month its really stressful. I am happy for hubs but inside way down deep I am hurting and stressing.

I love hubs and I am glad he is doing something he wants for once. Mali and I are going to really miss him. I know he will be safe. I am thankful he isn’t going over seas. Its just going to be hard being away from his for long periods of time. We have been together every day for over a year and I was definitely spoiled to it. I’m hoping the time we have to be away from each other flies by. We both are but we know in the long run this will be good for the 3 of us. I’m just trying to stay strong and show my support.

ArmyWifeToddlerMommy

I have had the most wonderful weekend I have had in a while! I was dreading going to the inlaws and setting around all day while hubs worked but it was worth it.

I hate the snow! More than anything! But I am thankful for the snow! If it wasn’t for the snow Jake would have worked all day Saturday and Sunday. Army paper work is important but I’m glad they put it off for the safety of the soldiers. (and so I could have hubs to myself all weekend)

Mali was in a very good mood for the most part :] it makes our trip worth the while. When Mali is in a bad mood when we’re out of town I just want to go home where he is somewhat easier to handle and I don’t have someone else other than hubs disciplining him. Discipline is a must for young children or they will never learn but you don’t have to scream at them. That’s not discipline. Its annoying and that is teaching a child to scream when something happens they don’t like. Discipline is very important. Even adults must have some sort of self discipline.

All and all our weekend was great. Too bad it had to end. Hubs is back to work and I’m home with Mali trying to keep my sanity on somewhat of a normal level. Wait is there a normal level of sanity?

On a brighter note I am trying to get back into shape. I’m not sure when I want to start exercising. I say today but I am not feeling it today. I’m exhausted from the drive back from the inlaws , the cleaning yesterday, and Mali is in grouch mode. What’s new?

Hubs has about drove me crazy. Yes I am stoked about him getting his first tattoo but I didn’t know he would be so paranoid about how clean it is etc. I don’t mind taking care of it for him but don’t ask me every 5 minutes if it still looks okay! IT LOOKS LIKE IT DID THE LAST TIME I LOOKED AT IT!

I cannot wait until his next day off. We are gonna finally take all of our Christmas decor to my moms storage. I have 3 boxes of Christmas decorations. Too much but I love decorating. I am also going to have him go through all of his clothes and junk so we can donate it and get it out of the house. Who needs a walkin closet, small closet, and 3 dressers of clothes. Apparently he does. That’s not even the half of it. He has a closet and dresser full of clothes still at his moms and several totes of clothes. He is worse than me and that’s not a good thing.

I started on my spring cleaning. I threw away a bunch of my old junk and went through bills from last year and trashed the majority of them. I still got so much more stuff to do through, hopefully hubs and I will get it all done Thursday since he is off.

There is always something that has to be done when hubs is off work. House cleaning, errands to run, or grocery shopping to be done. I WANT ONE DAY I CAN LAY AT HOME ALL DAY AND NOT DO ONE SINGLE THING. That’s not gonna happen for another 18+ years! Speaking of which I gotta run. Little man is stirring. Gotta make lunch. Grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup sounds good to me. Have a happy and safe day. Xoxo!

ArmyWifeToddlerMommy

My hubby got his first tattoo today. I have been trying to get him to get one since I got my first one at 16. I am so happy. Hehe. I think tattoos are sexy. I know I know you don’t care! BUT MY HUSBAND GOT HIS FIRST TATTOO! It tickles me to death!

Getting Started

Almost Done!

And its finished! Yay for my hubby. Haha!

ArmyWifeToddlerMommy

This blog is about me and my life as an ArmyWifeToddlerMommy. That’s all each of you really know about me except the few people that read my nlog and know me personally. Today I have decided to let you a little more into my personal life and who I really am and how my life growing up shaped me into the person I am today.

Growing up my mom and dad faught, a lot. I would wake up hearing it, go to bed hearing it, and many times get sent to my room because of the fighting. My dad who I don’t refer to as dad is a very big 6″ 300lb man. Very strong and very angry. I never understood why he was so angry. He took his anger out on everyone that was around him. I watched him throw things at my mom, get in her face and scream at her, push her up against walls, and hit her.

When I was 12 years old my mom left. I guess she had all she could take. I don’t much blame her. After all she had been through with this man I would have left too. But what really got to me and broke me; she left her kids with this man. Knowing how he was and the anger that was within him. He began beating us kids. I guess this was a stress relief to him. I really don’t know. I didn’t hear from my mom for months. I didn’t know if she was dead or alive. I never really understood anything going on around me. I would pray that God would take good care of her wherever it was she may be and pray that he would bring her back home to me. I would try my hardest to be strong for my little brother and sister, I knew I was their only hope. I stood by them while they cried, looking for words to comfort them. There were no words. I knew exactly what they felt. They don’t know I ever cried because I wouldn’t cry in front of them. At 12 years old I took on more responsibility than most adults I knew. I had to make sure my little brother was bathed. I had to get both my brother and sister ready for bed. I was responsible for the cooking and cleaning. I was responsible for getting up early of the mornings, making breakfast, getting everyone ready for school, and getting everyone on the bus. You would think my dad would have took on this responsibility seeing how he was the adult in the house and our dad. Instead he stayed locked up in his bedroom, watching porn, and drinking moonshine. I resented my parents. I absolutely hated them. I didn’t understand why they could act in such manner. I had to become mom to my brother and sister. My dad quit his job and lived off of my mothers child support and food stamps. There were many nights the only thing in the house to eat were Ramon noodles and crackers, now you know why I can’t stand either. We couldn’t wait to go to school just so we had something else to eat.

At 13 my mother began calling and coming around. We would stay with her every other weekend. My dad hated it and soon put a stop to it. He didn’t want us to have anything to do with her. He recorded phone calls and would listen to each of them just to see what we had talked about. He began filling us lies so we would hate my mother and not speak with her.

Things remained this way until I was 15. I will not say they got better because they didn’t. I had to get a full time job to help raise my brother and sister. I worked at a local Little Caesar’s. I would go to school and then go to work. I often worked on weekends so I knew I would have money to pay whatever bill was due. My dad still didn’t have a job. I was doing it on my own. I got use to it eventually. Buying things everyone needed, buying Christmas for my brother and sister, along with birthday gifts and other holiday gifts. I often played “tooth fairy” for my little brother. All the financial responsibility became my responsibility.
The week before my 16th birthday we got an eviction notice. I was horrified. I didn’t know what to do. We were fixin to be homeless. My dad informed me that he had been talking to a woman on the internet and we were moving 5 hours away to live with her. I couldn’t stand the fact I had to leave all my friends to live with him and this woman 5 hours from home! We began loading everything on a U Haul a couple days later. We got the last little bit on the truck the day of my birthday. We were off to Wytheville. I have to say that was by far the worst birthday ever.

When we got there my dad went straight to her bedroom. My brother, sister, and I sat in the living room of this strange womans house. Soon they told us that we had to clean the house and start unloading the U Haul. This was the first time we have ever stepped foot in this house and met this woman along with her 3 children. Why was it our job to clean house? Soon we realized her children were hellions and she was just like my dad. She lived off of her ex husbands child support and food stamps. She was lazy. She never cleaned house, she let her children run free, and she stayed locked in her bedroom smoking pot and watching porn. No wonder her and my dad got along so well. They had so much in common. My sister and I cleaned the whole house, unloaded the truck, and put everything where it belonged. Even my dads stuff.

Soon I moved in with my mom. It took getting beat to convince the judge that my mother was more of a parent than my father. My sister had met friends, got on drugs, and was running free along with my dads girlfriends children. She decided she didn’t want to go to our mothers. She didn’t want the discipline she would receive living at my mothers house. After several months of her living with my father she began hating it. My mother picked up my brother one weekend and he had been beat because he smoked a cigarette. My mom then called social services and got custody of both my brother and sister. My father couldn’t stand the fact we lived with our mother and lost contact with each of us.

Its taken a lot for my mother to be able to discipline each of us after all we had been through. Afraid we may hate her for it. She became a little more firm and her and my step father has helped us get on the right paths to where we need to go. Its taken a lot from both of them and a lot of patients but they have done a great job.

My father went to jail in 2009 for child neglect, child abuse, animal cruelty, and many more charges. While he was in jail he wrote each of us many letters of apology and begging for forgiveness. We forgave him through many letters. He said he had finally found God and when he got out of jail he was going to start going to church and spend more time with his family and change his ways. He got out of jail on good behavior in May. I had hope he had changed. He hadn’t. All the promises were lies. I haven’t spoke to my father on good terms since I moved out in June 2006 other than when he was in jail. I have sent him several emails asking him why he told us so many lies. I received emails full of hatred and mental abuse. He told me he hated me and that he was not my father he was not my dad and not to refer to him as either. I now refer to him as my ungrateful sperm donor. Its taken a lot to be nice to him after all the things he has put me through over the years and the hurtful things he has said to me but I continued to try until I received the last email. Now I just grit my teeth and smile when I hear someone talk about him.

Child abuse is not a joke. It really messes with someones mind and shapes them into the person they will become as an adult. I was lucky to get out of it. Some are not so lucky. If you or someone you know is a victim of child abuse speak out. Don’t take it, don’t let them take it. There is help out there.

Child Abuse Hotline – 1-800-4-A-Child
1-800-4-1-14453

The hotline is open 24/7 and is open to all of the United States and Canada. They can provide assistance in 170 languages. All calls are anonymous and confidential.

ArmyWifeToddlerMommy

All this time I have been writing post for my blog about being an Army wife and toddler mommy I have never shared my story of how I met hubs. It is quiet funny if I do say so myself.

In August of 2005 I was cheering at our first home football game that year. I kept noticing a boy about my age starring at me, I tried my damndest to ignore it. No matter what I done I could feel him looking at me. (I hate that feeling!) I finally decided to ask him what his problem was. His response, “hi my name is Marcus and I just can’t get over how beautiful you are.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Sweet but at the same time hilarious. We spoke throughout the rest of the game. Once the game was over we went our separate ways. I headed up on the mountain with all of the football players and cheerleaders to a party. Well guess who else was there! you got it, Marcus. He spoke to me a few times at the party and when he was leaving he asked for my number. Of course I gave it to him. A couple days past and then I got a phone call from him. He asked if I would like to go hangout with him at his cousins house. Well his cousin so happened to have a girlfriend but I didn’t much pay any attention to that. I thought he was handsome. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. After hanging out a few hours I decided it was time to go home. Marcus and I kept in touch but it never went any further than that. His cousin, who so happened to be Jake, broke up with his girlfriend and started callin me. We would talk for hours, hang out at each others houses, and go out occasionally. After 6 months of doing so, I fell in love with him. Now we have a beautiful family. Our love for one another grows stronger and stronger everyday.

I will say I received a lot of threatening phone calls from his ex. She couldn’t stand to see him happy. Quiet frankly I thought it was hilarious!

The real funny part, when his ex got pregnant by her new boyfriend, we became friends.

Who knew that I would fall in love with a guy who’s cousin was crazy over me? I still look back at it and laugh. We both do actually.

We have been through hell and back with each other, but there is nothing or no one that will ever change the way I feel about him. Not even a boy at a football game.

We may have lost that football game but I gained something so much better out of it, a wonderful husband and amazing family of my own.

ArmyWifeToddlerMommy

ArmyWifeToddlerMommy

My life is glamorous….sometimes that is.

Who loves the flu? That’s right now hands went up on that one! Thursday morning I woke up feeling horrible. Malachia was supposed to have a neurology appointment that morning, and as much as I knew he needed to go, I wasn’t makin it two feet away from the bathroom without vomiting. I was extremely sick until Sunday and even Sunday I was definitely not at my best!

I didn’t have to work Thursday night so that was no problem. Friday morning I called into work. 14 hours before my shift! Did I tell you 14 HOURS BEFORE MY SHIFT! Plenty of time to find someone to cover if you ask me. Saturday I still felt horrible and was vomiting not to mention the 103.4 temperature I was running. I was so sick hubs had leave work early and take me to the hospital. Yes! I went to the hospital. I never go to the hospital! I can’t afford the 6 or 7 digit bills they send me a week later. I had it on my Facebook that I was sitting in the hospital waiting area and I would be there a while because it was packed and the woman in front of me had been there an hour. I knew I was gonna be pretty much spending the night. Not even 20 minutes after posting my status my oh so professional manager commented on it. “Heather I have your shift covered, DON’T worry about calling in AGAIN!” Okay? I have called in once before last night and that was because Malachia was in the hospital. So did I supposedly call in and not remember it? Apparently so. As bad as I wanted to go off on her I just closed out of Facebook and turned off my phone.

After sitting in the waiting area of the emergency room for 4 hours I finally got taken back to a room. Another hour passed and a doctor came in the room. Here is what I get for sitting in the hospital vomiting my brains out for the past 5 hours. “How are you? I’m doctor (can’t remember her name) I see you have the flu. I’m going to put you on an IV and give you fluids for a for hours and give you some antibiotics for the vomiting. Get to feeling better” I didn’t even get in 2 words. She didn’t even run test how does she know what it is? Oh well! I finally got out of the hospital at 2AM. I was in that hospital for 8 friggin hours!

Sunday morning I woke up. No longer vomiting but weak and tired. Well since my “professional” manager thinks everything should be done via Facebook I sent her a message letting her know that I had the flu and the doctor was keeping me out of work for a couple days. I also informed her that I would be back to work Tuesday. I also apologized! Who apologizes for being sick? I also called Fasmart to let whoever was working know I wouldn’t be coming in. I began calling at 4PM. 8 hours before I had to be at work. I called up until I went to bed at 10. No one answered. I sent my manager a message on Facebook. I mean that’s how she expects everyone to communicate obviously. I went on to bed.

Yesterday I spent my day off relaxing and cleaning house. (yesterday was my day off)

Well today I was relaxing with Mali watching The Wiggles. I pick up my phone and notice a missed call from work. I called back thinking my mom had called me. She said Sharon called and put her on the phone. Sharon gets on the phone and tells me she has to fire me because I didn’t call in Saturday or Sunday. I went off. BACKTRACK! Saturday you commented on my status while I was in the hospital telling me not to call into work again and Sunday I called both you and the store and didn’t get an answer from neither so I thought it was okay to send you a message on Facebook as you did me.

Managers are here to set examples aren’t they? So if your manager comments you on Facebook about work related issues that means you can message your manager over work related issues right? Apparently not. This is a one way street apparently. I am not happy about the situation at all. I made that very clear I believe!

This is not good on us at all. We we’re finally getting on our feet again! Our bills actually being paid on time and in full. Now we are going to have to go back to living paycheck to paycheck praying for a miracle. I had so many hopes and dreams and the only way any of them were going to get accomplished were by me having a job. I had plans of paying off my hospital bills, this hospital bill, paying off my loans for school from the last semester I took last year so I could go back to school and become something other than a 3rd shift cashier. I had dreams of finally buying our own home rather than renting. I was gonna finally get my license and put back money for a vehicle. I had countless dreams and plans and now I have to start back at square one! Looking for a job, catching the bills up, then slowly start paying off everything. I don’t know who to blame this on; myself for not trying until wee hours of the morning to get ahold of someone to let them know I wouldn’t be able to come to work, whoever was working for not answering, or my manager for not being a better more professional manager than she is.

I just hope and pray God grants me the sanity and strength to get through this.

ArmyWifeToddlerMommy

Sex – 1. The property or quality by which organisms are classified as female or male on the basis of their reproductive organs and functions.

2. Either of the two divisions, designated female and male, of this classification.

3. Females or males considered as a group.

4. The condition or character of being female or male; the physiological, functional, and psychological differences that distinguish the female and the male. See Usage Note at gender.

5. The sexual urge or instinct as it manifests itself in behavior.

Or in my case….bonding time with hubs.

I have heard a lot of moms and dads say they don’t have time for sex. Let me tell you, becoming a first time parent I thought I wouldn’t have time for sex either once I had Mali. I didn’t much care though. Before I got pregnant I could go without sex. It didn’t bother me if I never had sex. Hubs on the other hand didn’t much agree. He is a nympho. He thinks he needs sex like he needs air to breath.

Once I got pregnant hubs and I were both surprised at how much my hormones had changed. I had to have sex more than he did. (not that he complained) It was like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I couldn’t focus if I didn’t have it. (once again, hubs wasn’t complaining) I would wake up in the middle of the night wanting sex. Before I got out of bed in the morning, I had to have sex. It was a must. As I got closer to having Malachia I started wanting sex more. Just the thought of “not having time” made me want it more. I knew once he got here, we would be too tired to even care if we had sex or not.

Boy was I wrong.

Before my six weeks were up I was wanting to have sex like I was when I was pregnant. I will say there was a lot of floor play towards the end of those six weeks. When my doctor told me it was safe to have sex again…I guess you know the rest.

When you begin to think you don’t have time for sex…think again. I know first hand with a new baby, toddler, or child of any age; sex is kind of like a privilege. Its like you have to earn it or something. You always put work, household chores, errands, and many other things in front of your spouse.

While your child is taking a nap you have time to have some time with your spouse. Your chores will still be there in a hour I promise. If you are like me, your spouse works of the day. Maybe you both do. In my case, he works during the day and I work at night. We rarely see each other. We have maybe one day a week together if we are lucky. There have been weeks when we only see each other while we are getting ready for work. But we always make time for each other. Even if that means staying up a little later at night, the laundry being put off another day, errands waiting until the next morning, or nap time becoming our “play” time.

When you start to think “I don’t have time for sex”, think again because you do. Put off that load of laundry until tomorrow, go pay the bills tomorrow or do it over the phone. Everything will still be there. So drop what your doing and go get it in with your hubby! I promise it will be worth it.

SEX, FOOD FOR THE SOUL!

ArmyWifeToddlerMommy

Bringing you into this world was terrifying. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I was scared. I was afraid I wouldn’t know what was wrong when you cried, afraid I would drop you, afraid I may not hear you cry through the night. I was terrified when I went into labor with you at only 31 weeks. Afraid you may not make it, afraid you wouldn’t know how to breath on your own. I laid there looking into the bright lights begging the doctors not to take you yet, telling them I knew you would be okay in my belly one more day. The moment I heard you cry I knew you would be just fine. You had a soft cry and it was music to my ears. I was crying tears of joy. I knew my baby was okay.

I look at you and I see a handsome little boy, very active, overwhelmed with happiness, and a heart of gold. Watching you I get tickled, the way you get mad when you can’t get cars to stack up on each other, running through the house like a wild Indian looking for a new adventure. Watching you beat pots and pans together and bringing me a pot and a spoon and saying “eat, eat”. While it gets on some peoples nerves I love listening to you beat and bang. When you start being really loud and I start getting annoyed with something you are doing I remind myself how thankful I am to have you in my life.

Watching you is better than any reality TV show, movie, or play. As I watch you grow and mature I learn new things about myself. I find love deeper in me than I could imagine. Before I met you I never imagined I could love someone as much as I love you. Your the light of my life. My world revolves around you. Everything I do, I do it for you. You may not realize that today, tomorrow, or even a year from now, but one day you will. I love you Malachia, more than any words can express. I am so grateful to call you my son, my miricle, the light of my life, and mostly the beat to my heart.

ArmyWifeToddlerMommy

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I know this post is a little late. Who cares though right? I’m doing a post for once in a long time. And to beat it all I’m sick. Kiddos to me!

I am stoked about the New Year, I really am. I have a few New Years resolutions this year. This is the first time I have ever had a New Years resolution. Is that bad? Who cares!

This year I am going to get all my debt paid! Yes all my doctors bills and things like that. Its definitely going to take some time and a lot of money. I repeat A LOT OF MONEY! I am stoked but at the same time I’m depressed. This year I won’t be buying new cool stuff with my taxes, I will be paying off debt. What’s the fun in that?

So is it really true whatever you are doing at 12:01 on New Years is what you will be doing all year? In that case I will be in bed sick…ALL YEAR! Wooohooo! I couldn’t ask for more! |hear the sarcasm|

This year has started out….not so good. I’ve been in bed sick since Thursday, my manager acts like I don’t do anything and I always call into work (but she always brags about me), and I spent almost 7 hours in the hospital last night! Ahhhh! Let’s keep our fingers crossed this year gets better real soon!

So back to New Years resolutions. Along with paying my debt off this year, I am hoping to quit smoking by April. This is gonna be a tough one. Every time I “quit” I end up getting stressed out and going and buying more. Maybe its just not meant for be to quit. Who knows.

Well here you have it. My friggin New Years post! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

ArmyWifeToddlerMommy

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